Joke for the Day

Just a little joke to ease you into the weekend:

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. 
  "You all have obsessions," he observed. 
  To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." 
  He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." 
  He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy." 
  At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner."  

Get My Head Out of My Ass and Blog

The above is what I was very recently ordered so here is my thought for tonight...

"Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyway."

Summary of Life

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Friday Fun

I am so happy it is Friday! I don't have any terribly exciting plans this weekend and that is exactly how I want it. As I write this I am thinking of all of the great things I plan to do since I don't have plans...isn't that a little contrary?!? Oh well...

(via)

What's Important...

"The power of unconditional love. I mean, there is no power on earth like unconditional love. And I think that if you offered that to your child, I mean, you’re 90 percent of the way home. There may be days when you don’t feel like it — it’s not uncritical love; that’s a different animal — but to know you can always come back, that is huge in life. That takes you a long, long way. And I would say that every parent out there that can extend that to their child at an early age, it’s going to make for a better human being."

- Warren Buffet on the best advice he ever received

Pep in your step??

So I am having a little problem these last few days putting any "pep in my step" or keeping up the positive attitude. In fact, I have had very low patience and a quick temper lately. It's a good thing I don't carpool because I do not like to curse in front of anyone (not that I condemn it in others- I LOVE the way Caitlin over at Snarkoholic disguises her bad words) but I just can't manage to hold my tongue on my morning commute!

Not to fear My Lovelies, there is nothing seriously wrong I am just very tired and don't have any rest in site for a while until my upcoming Birthday (yay!) in a couple of weeks.

However, I am a big proponent of "faking it until you make it". Don't look down your nose at this thought immediately. I really think it works. If you force yourself to smile, you have to start thinking about being happy and before too long- you are! So with that thought in mind I have collected a few funny or inspirational quotes to help all of us when we are having to put a little more effort into keeping a positive attitude. Hope you enjoy!

The man who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

-Robert Bloch

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

-Hugh Downs

After 12 years of therapy my psycharitrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles".

-unknown

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

-Oscar Wilde

"All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I realize that I should have been more specific."

-Lily Tomlin

"Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God Talks to us we're schizophrenic?"

-Lily Tomlin

"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it."

-Unknown

Lastly, but definitely not least, if you didn't check out Snarks by clicking the link above check her out here. You should read her. She really is very funny!